Sunday, September 24, 2006

Carmel Apples and Witches in the Sky!

A wonderful cool breeze blew through the car window while I sat in the Walmart parking lot munching on a delicious caramel apple topped with nuts. MMMMMM.... delicious! The feeling of Fall, the taste of my caramel apple and the thought of October, made the thanks to Hashem pour from sticky mouth for my favourite time of year.

October is the greatest month there is! It's my birthday month! I was born three days shy of being a goblin and I celebrate all 31 days! It's when Fall arrives! And best of all! Even better than my birthday is - Halloween!!!! All month long Disney Channel will air Halloween shows!!!! I'll read every R. L. Stine book I can get my hands on of the Nightmare Room! I'll loose sleep from staying up reading and not care! I love October!!!!!

I don't care what anyone says about Halloween, I'm with Stine, it's the coolest holiday! It's full of everything funny and frightening! Cool candy! Crazy costumes! Pumpkins!!!!! Who can't enjoy the sight of a carved pumpkin???!!!! I love it!!!! It's a chance to shrink back and be a kid again! Not that I ever quit.

Anyway, while I was enjoying my tastee caramel covered apple, the sky suddenly became dark. The wind began to howl. I looked up as the black clouds moved in. They formed the scariest shapes I had ever seen in my life. One looked like bill clinton! One like hilary! The horror of it all!!!! How dare those freaking liberals invade my beloved day!!!! Then the worst of all appeared! Making Halloween seem like sissy stuff! It was her! She-who-must-not-be-named! The disgrace to all that's good! The insult to her son's memory! It was.....oh dare I say it......Moonbat Sheehan flying through the sky on a bat!

The wicked witch of the west, flying on her trusty steed across the Ohio River. Quick! Someone shoot her! Where's a dang redneck when you need one??????? Curse you lazy rednecks!!!

I imagine tonight I'll have nightmares from the experience. Not even Stine's Nightmare Room has dreamed of anything so horrid in the skies. Alas, I shall eat another caramel covered apple and console my virgin eyes by watching countless hours of The Fairly Odd Parent's "Scary Oddparents!" to prepare me for October and another fun Halloween.